FAQ – HazizaH b'not mitzvaH

FAQs

Who is Hannah Mareino? Who is Aziza Nelson?

Back in 1999, Sarah Erdreich began working at Shaman Drum bookstore, where Cara Spindler also worked. Despite having graduated in the same year from the University of Michigan, Cara and Sarah had never met. Cara rectified that by telling Sarah, soon after they started working together, “We should hang out.” Cara introduced Sarah to her then-boyfriend, Dave Nelson; six years later, Sarah introduced Cara and Dave to her then-boyfriend, Vince Mareino.

Fast-forward to 2012. Aziza Nelson was born that March, and Hannah Mareino was born that September. Cara, Sarah, Dave, and Vince decided that clearly the girls would be good friends, despite the fact that the Erdreich-Mareinos lived in Washington, D.C. and the Spindler-Nelsons lived in Ann Arbor.

Fortunately, the girls hit it off pretty much as soon as they achieved object permanence. When they approached bat mitzvah age, Cara suggested that maybe Hannah and Aziza could take Hebrew lessons together, an option made possible by our Age of Zoom. The girls loved this idea, and Sarah and Vince loved the idea of paying Ann Arbor tutoring rates instead of Washington, D.C. tutoring rates.

Then, as they are wont to do, the girls came up with an even more elaborate idea: to have a joint bat mitzvah, otherwise known as a b’not mitzvah (when two girls have their bat mitzvahs together). Since neither the parents nor the two rabbis involved could think of a good reason to say no, here we are!

Cool, but does that mean the service is twice as long?

Nope! The service will take approximately two-and-a-half hours, which is the standard length of a bar or bat mitzvah.

Instead, we are doubling the number of rabbis, so they can motzvahtize twice as quickly. This provides double the mitzvot without doubling the service length or carbon footprint of our operations. We are pleased to have this opportunity to demonstrate greater efficiency and sustainability in Jewish worship.

Kidding! It’s the normal length service, with the normal amount of readings and songs and standing-ups and sitting-downs.

But there will be two rabbis officiating: Rav Gavrielle Pescador (who leads Aziza’s services at the Ann Arbor Reconstructionist Congregation, which will host this service) and Rabbi Hannah Spiro (the rabbi at Hill Havurah, Hannah’s home congregation in Washington DC). We are extremely pleased that both girls will have the opportunity to work with the rabbis they know, while supporting each other in leading this service and starting the next chapter in their Jewish lives.

Do I have to get them both gifts?

You are not at all obligated to give either girl a gift, especially the girl you don’t know.

You’re the parents—you have to say that. But I’m bringing a gift. Any suggestions?

The traditional bat mitzvah gift is money in multiples of $18; in Hebrew the word חי (“chai”) means life, and in Jewish tradition is represented by the number 18.

I’m not Jewish. What do I need to know about attending a b’not mitzvah?

A b’not mitzvah is a religious service, so it begins and ends with prayers that the congregation will take part in reciting. Both girls will read from the Torah and chant their haftarah portion, and they will each give a brief speech.

If you don’t know Hebrew, don’t worry! There will be enough people in attendance that do know Hebrew that no one will notice if you sit silently during the service.

There is some standing and sitting during the course of the service. If you’re unable to easily stand and sit, or have difficulty standing for more than a few minutes at a time, you are welcome to remain seated.

Is there a dress code?

Ann Arbor is a proudly casual college town, especially in the summer, so please wear what you feel comfortable in. That said, it’s customary to cover your shoulders during a Jewish ceremony, so bring a shawl or cardigan to toss over a strappy top or dress.

Oh, you want us to be more specific? Okay! Wear what you would wear to a religious service from your denomination, or what you’d wear to a nice dinner with someone you want to impress.

If you’re wondering about the kippah / yarmulke / “you know, the lil hat”: We will provide one if you don’t have one. They’re only required for adult male Jews, but people of all ages, genders, and religions are welcome to wear one during the service.

Feel free to wear the same outfit to the party that you will to the service. You’re also welcome to be even more casual for the party, as it will be held in a children’s science museum and you might want to run around, climb on exhibits, and/or chase your kids.

Is the service the only thing that Hannah and Aziza are doing that weekend?

Immediately following the service there will be a luncheon at the Jewish Community Center … which, conveniently enough, is also where the b’not mitzvah is taking place.

That party mentioned above will be held from 6 p.m. – 10 p.m. on Saturday, July 12, at the Ann Arbor Hands-On Museum. The entire museum will be yours to explore, ideally with a plate of food from Zingerman’s, which will be catering a buffet-style dinner.

On Sunday, July 13, Sarah and Vince are hosting a brunch in Hannah and Aziza’s honor from 9:30 a.m. – noon at the home of Sarah’s parents.

We hope everyone can join us for one, two, or all three of these events! There will be vegetarian and vegan options available at each, but if you have any food allergies or dietary restrictions, please let Sarah know.

How should I get around?

Ann Arbor is about thirty miles from Detroit Metropolitan Airport. While it’s possible to get from the airport to your lodging, and around Ann Arbor itself, using shuttle buses, ride-share cars, and Ann Arbor city buses, you’ll have greater flexibility if you rent a car.

I’ve never been to Ann Arbor. What is there to do besides attend this service?

If you want to explore nature or look at pretty flowers, check out Nichols Arboretum or the Matthei Botanicals Garden. Hungry? Order the Hippie Hash at the Fleetwood Diner, grab some Cuban street food at Frita Batidos, or have a Blimpy Burger (or two). Want to drink like a college student? Head over to Good Time Charley’s, Ashley’s, or Dominick’s. Several outdoor pools will be open that weekend, as will the University of Michigan’s Museum of Art. The Michigan Theater is a great place to catch a movie, Literati Bookstore is a must-visit for readers, and Kerrytown Market and Shops has a cafe, food, and eclectic stores.

Where should I stay?

We have reserved a block of rooms at the Graduate Ann Arbor, which is near the Hands-On Museum; this link will allow you to book at our guaranteed rate. If you don’t want to stay downtown, the Residence Inn by Marriott Ann Arbor North and the DoubleTree by Hilton Ann Arbor North are near the location of Sunday’s brunch, and the Holiday Inn & Suites Ann Arbor- University South and Hyatt Place Ann Arbor (along with a bunch of other hotels) are near the Jewish Community Center. If you’d prefer to rent a house or apartment, check out Airbnb or Vrbo. Or get really weird, and use https://www.reddit.com/r/uofm/ to sublet student housing.

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